[GhettoKameleon]

The Allied Invasion. The Trojan Horse. The Divine Plan. The following strategy puts them all to shame because it defines how to finally defeat the great beast of society: women.



Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.

Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole fuckin' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bullshit. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to shit. Again, mind games.

Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.

Remember, girls are the less intelligent of the genders. All throughout history men have out-thought, out-invented, and out-created women in every facet of existence. Isn't it about time we won an argument for once? Gentlemen, that time is now.

[Karim]

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

[7Corners]

[Quila]

I must not be a girl because I will rip someone's soul out of them sheerly through my ability to argue. This goes for males or females.

And if someone told me I was just like my mother, I'd be thrilled.

[Karim]

I think it's obvious to everyone here how NOT like a normal woman you are.

[GhettoKameleon]

I think it's obvious to everyone here how NOT like a normal woman you are.

The man has a point, wifey.

[Quila]

I'm sproutin' a penis as we speak.

[Nevermore]

Hahahha could be an oversized clitoris better have somebody check.

[pale_existence]

I'm not reading that, but the real answer is...you just don't do it, because the girl will always win! damnit.

[Nevermore]

I dunno, females are the stronger gender. If any man had to push a baby through his penis hole he would give in at the tip of the little finger.

[Karim]

I dunno, females are the stronger gender. If any man had to push a baby through his penis hole he would give in at the tip of the little finger.

Haha, funny you should say that. My saying has always been: "They say it's tough to have balls, but a man's balls are the most fragile part of his body. A vagina can take a hard hit and can be highly elastic."

[Sanzen]

You say that often, Karim?

[GhettoKameleon]

I dunno, females are the stronger gender. If any man had to push a baby through his penis hole he would give in at the tip of the little finger.

Ridiculous argument that really has ZERO relavance to anything.

[7Corners]

I'm sproutin' a penis as we speak.

I think you just made Jer hard.

[Nevermore]

Ridiculous argument that really has ZERO relavance to anything.

So you are actually serious about this whole thing????? I don't know what to say.

[Karim]

You say that often, Karim?

Haha, of course not. I've said it maybe 20 times in the last three years.

[neogeo]

So you are actually serious about this whole thing????? I don't know what to say.

Chris always preaches the truth.

[Nevermore]

Hahahah yeah, I hate those bitches. I'm pissed they got the right to vote. Come to think of it, we shouldn't have freed the slaves.

[Sanzen]

lmfao

Fucking pansy.

[Nevermore]

Did you know I can make babies by scraping cells off my right hand and putting them in chicken soup. That's about how absurd my experience in this thread has been.