So there's a 4 year old and a 6 year old and they are getting ready to have breakfast.
The older one says to the younger brother..
"I think it's time we start cussing."
The younger brother says "Okay, what do we do?"
The Older brother says "When mom comes down to serve breakfast, I'll say something with "damn" in it and you say something with "ass".
The younger brother agrees and the mom walks into the kitchen.
The mom asks the older brother what he wants and he says..."I'll just have a bowl of DAMN Corn Flakes."
The mom smacks him in the back of the head and chases him into the room smacking him on the ass each step... he gets into his room bawling and she slams the door and says "YOU CAN JUST STAY IN THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO COME OUT!"
She then returns to the kitchen.. composes herself... and asks the younger brother..."Well, what would you like for breakfast?"
The 4 year old says "Well, I don't know, but you can bet your fat ASS it won't be Corn Flakes!"
Joke
#2
pale_existence 
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 03:12 PM
LOL. good one
#3
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 04:05 PM
That was funny....
Okay now, I have a joke for you too.
There is a teacher who wants her kindergarden students to use grown up words....
So after their easter break she asked them what they did....
Teacher : What did you do on your easter holiday little boy?
Kid: I went and saw my na na
Teacher : No not your na na you went and saw your grandmother. Your grandmother
Teacher ask the next little boy what did you do on your easter break?
Kid : I went and saw a cho cho.
Teacher: No, You went and saw a Train, Not a cho cho.
Teacher ask the next little boy what he did on the easter break.
The kid though really hard. And he thougt and thought.....
The kid says: I read a book....
Teacher: You read a book, Thats great, What kind of book....
The little boy thought some more and then he said.
Little Boy : I read.....I read 'Winne The Shit'
Okay now, I have a joke for you too.
There is a teacher who wants her kindergarden students to use grown up words....
So after their easter break she asked them what they did....
Teacher : What did you do on your easter holiday little boy?
Kid: I went and saw my na na
Teacher : No not your na na you went and saw your grandmother. Your grandmother
Teacher ask the next little boy what did you do on your easter break?
Kid : I went and saw a cho cho.
Teacher: No, You went and saw a Train, Not a cho cho.
Teacher ask the next little boy what he did on the easter break.
The kid though really hard. And he thougt and thought.....
The kid says: I read a book....
Teacher: You read a book, Thats great, What kind of book....
The little boy thought some more and then he said.
Little Boy : I read.....I read 'Winne The Shit'
#4
WhereIsMyBuddah
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 04:07 PM
lol thats a good one too 
#5
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 04:15 PM
QUOTE(WhereIsMyBuddah @ Jul 24 2006, 04:07 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
lol thats a good one too
Thanks.
I have another one aswell. They have this old lady living in a nursing home and these really old men always mess with her.
The old lady is really crazy.... So...
She's going down the street really fast in her wheelchair and one of the old guys stops her and says:
I need to see your license" So the old lady pulls out a piece of paper, (She's crazy now so she thinks its her license)
The old guy said "Okay okay you can go now"
As she goes down another street, Another old man stops her and says "You are going way too fast now. I need to see your licence"
The old lady pulls out the piece of paper, And she was free to go....
As she goes down another lane, She noticed another man that was about to stop her again,
The old lady says "OH NO NOT THE BREATHOLIZER TEST AGAIN!!"
I don't know if yall heard of that but its pretty funny, I just hope I spelled it right!!
#6
pale_existence
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 05:30 PM
QUOTE(Gasoline_Rainbows @ Jul 24 2006, 07:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That was funny....
Okay now, I have a joke for you too.
There is a teacher who wants her kindergarden students to use grown up words....
So after their easter break she asked them what they did....
Teacher : What did you do on your easter holiday little boy?
Kid: I went and saw my na na
Teacher : No not your na na you went and saw your grandmother. Your grandmother
Teacher ask the next little boy what did you do on your easter break?
Kid : I went and saw a cho cho.
Teacher: No, You went and saw a Train, Not a cho cho.
Teacher ask the next little boy what he did on the easter break.
The kid though really hard. And he thougt and thought.....
The kid says: I read a book....
Teacher: You read a book, Thats great, What kind of book....
The little boy thought some more and then he said.
Little Boy : I read.....I read 'Winne The Shit'
Okay now, I have a joke for you too.
There is a teacher who wants her kindergarden students to use grown up words....
So after their easter break she asked them what they did....
Teacher : What did you do on your easter holiday little boy?
Kid: I went and saw my na na
Teacher : No not your na na you went and saw your grandmother. Your grandmother
Teacher ask the next little boy what did you do on your easter break?
Kid : I went and saw a cho cho.
Teacher: No, You went and saw a Train, Not a cho cho.
Teacher ask the next little boy what he did on the easter break.
The kid though really hard. And he thougt and thought.....
The kid says: I read a book....
Teacher: You read a book, Thats great, What kind of book....
The little boy thought some more and then he said.
Little Boy : I read.....I read 'Winne The Shit'
that was REALLY cute!
#7
Alexandros
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Posted 24 July 2006 - 11:51 PM
The above are funny!
I hope dear American friends here will not get offended cause it's supposed to be funny.
I apologize in advance for the poor English but I had to translate it from Greek.
Exporting products!
Greek PM's private phone is ringing and from the other side of the line is G.W. Bush directly from the White House.
Bush: "My friend Costas, hello! Hey man, listen, I have a serious problem here and I need your help! Last night the biggest condoms factory in US caught fire and now we run out of condoms. Please can you sent us 14 million condoms in 5 days??"
Karamanlis: "Oh of course! No problem at all! Do you need something special?" he asks Bush
Bush: " Um actually yes. I want the condoms to have the colours of the American Flag, Blue, Red and White, to be 30cm long and the diameter to be 6cm".
Karamanlis: "OK George no prob at all man!"
Costas Karamanlis phones to a factory owner here in Greece to give him the order.
"Do you have any particular demands Mr. PM?" the owner asks.
Karamanlis: "yeah I want them to have the Blue, Red and White colour, to be 30cm long and the diameter to be 6cm".
"ah OK then Mr. PM, no prob at all", the owner says. "Anything else you might want?"
Karamanlis: "yeah please will ya do me a favour? Put outside on the boxes this:"
Made in Greece - Size: SMALL
It's supposed to be funny don't start bitching.
*whistles: soooo I ruuuuuun and hiiiiide... lalalalaaa*
I hope dear American friends here will not get offended cause it's supposed to be funny.
I apologize in advance for the poor English but I had to translate it from Greek.
Exporting products!
Greek PM's private phone is ringing and from the other side of the line is G.W. Bush directly from the White House.
Bush: "My friend Costas, hello! Hey man, listen, I have a serious problem here and I need your help! Last night the biggest condoms factory in US caught fire and now we run out of condoms. Please can you sent us 14 million condoms in 5 days??"
Karamanlis: "Oh of course! No problem at all! Do you need something special?" he asks Bush
Bush: " Um actually yes. I want the condoms to have the colours of the American Flag, Blue, Red and White, to be 30cm long and the diameter to be 6cm".
Karamanlis: "OK George no prob at all man!"
Costas Karamanlis phones to a factory owner here in Greece to give him the order.
"Do you have any particular demands Mr. PM?" the owner asks.
Karamanlis: "yeah I want them to have the Blue, Red and White colour, to be 30cm long and the diameter to be 6cm".
"ah OK then Mr. PM, no prob at all", the owner says. "Anything else you might want?"
Karamanlis: "yeah please will ya do me a favour? Put outside on the boxes this:"
Made in Greece - Size: SMALL
It's supposed to be funny don't start bitching.
*whistles: soooo I ruuuuuun and hiiiiide... lalalalaaa*
#8
Quila
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 12:16 AM
Here's my retarded signature joke I've been telling since I was in 9th grade.
So like...9 years now. Jeez.
Once there was 2 islands.
On one island lived a chicken.
On one island lived a cat.
The cat's food was on the chicken's island.
The chicken's food was on the cat's island.
One day, the chicken thought to himself "Fuck this, i'm hungry." so he reared back and took a flying leap, landing on the cat's island.
As he munched happily on his food, the cat thought to herself "Hey, I'm hungry. And if he can do that, so can I."
So she reared back, took a flying leap and landed...in the water.
What's the moral of this story?
Wherever there's a happy cock, there's a wet pussy.
*rimshot*
So like...9 years now. Jeez.
Once there was 2 islands.
On one island lived a chicken.
On one island lived a cat.
The cat's food was on the chicken's island.
The chicken's food was on the cat's island.
One day, the chicken thought to himself "Fuck this, i'm hungry." so he reared back and took a flying leap, landing on the cat's island.
As he munched happily on his food, the cat thought to herself "Hey, I'm hungry. And if he can do that, so can I."
So she reared back, took a flying leap and landed...in the water.
What's the moral of this story?
Wherever there's a happy cock, there's a wet pussy.
*rimshot*
#9
Rarz
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 12:23 AM
Haha...Ok. Sorry to say it guys but Vanessa's has been the best yet...
And I have heaps of jokes and they're all really corny. Ask any of the Aussies here. They're terrible. And instead of laughing with me you'd all laugh at me. So that's not going to happen.
And I have heaps of jokes and they're all really corny. Ask any of the Aussies here. They're terrible. And instead of laughing with me you'd all laugh at me. So that's not going to happen.
#10
Mr_Bueno
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 11:18 AM
Q: What is it, that's in the air, that gets women pregnant?
A: Their ankles.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Re-arrange the furniture.
One blonde says to another, "Ugh, my boyfriend bought me flowers again, I hate that!"
The second blonde replies, "Why? I love when my boyfriend buys me flowers."
The first blonde explains, "It's just that every time he buys flowers, I can just picture myself on my back with my legs spread for the next three days."
The second blonde looks at her in a puzzled way and asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
A: Their ankles.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Re-arrange the furniture.
One blonde says to another, "Ugh, my boyfriend bought me flowers again, I hate that!"
The second blonde replies, "Why? I love when my boyfriend buys me flowers."
The first blonde explains, "It's just that every time he buys flowers, I can just picture myself on my back with my legs spread for the next three days."
The second blonde looks at her in a puzzled way and asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
#11
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 12:23 PM
Speaking of blonde jokes.....
Here's one.....
Whats the difference between a misquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking after you slap it.
Here's one.....
Whats the difference between a misquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking after you slap it.
#12
boovya
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 12:56 PM
so a man says to his wife:
"youre coming hunting with me"
WIFE: "ahh you know i hate going hunting with you! can't I just do something else instead"
MAN: alright fair enough...i'll give you a choice, you can either suck my dick or give me anal to make up for it.
WIFE: ahh I really don't want to do either...
MAN: well I'll tell you what...I'll go out and get the dogs ready and when I come back you better make a decision...
*man comes back in the house after getting the dogs ready*
MAN: well have you decided yet?
WIFE: yeah, I'll be damned if youre getting anal so i guess i'll suck your dick.
*wife begins to suck her husbands dick and suddenly stops and says*
"ewww why does your dick taste like shit! "
MAN: well, the dogs didnt want to go hunting either.
"youre coming hunting with me"
WIFE: "ahh you know i hate going hunting with you! can't I just do something else instead"
MAN: alright fair enough...i'll give you a choice, you can either suck my dick or give me anal to make up for it.
WIFE: ahh I really don't want to do either...
MAN: well I'll tell you what...I'll go out and get the dogs ready and when I come back you better make a decision...
*man comes back in the house after getting the dogs ready*
MAN: well have you decided yet?
WIFE: yeah, I'll be damned if youre getting anal so i guess i'll suck your dick.
*wife begins to suck her husbands dick and suddenly stops and says*
"ewww why does your dick taste like shit! "
MAN: well, the dogs didnt want to go hunting either.
#13
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 01:11 PM
QUOTE(boovya @ Jul 25 2006, 12:56 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
so a man says to his wife:
"youre coming hunting with me"
WIFE: "ahh you know i hate going hunting with you! can't I just do something else instead"
MAN: alright fair enough...i'll give you a choice, you can either suck my dick or give me anal to make up for it.
WIFE: ahh I really don't want to do either...
MAN: well I'll tell you what...I'll go out and get the dogs ready and when I come back you better make a decision...
*man comes back in the house after getting the dogs ready*
MAN: well have you decided yet?
WIFE: yeah, I'll be damned if youre getting anal so i guess i'll suck your dick.
*wife begins to suck her husbands dick and suddenly stops and says*
"ewww why does your dick taste like shit! "
MAN: well, the dogs didnt want to go hunting either.
"youre coming hunting with me"
WIFE: "ahh you know i hate going hunting with you! can't I just do something else instead"
MAN: alright fair enough...i'll give you a choice, you can either suck my dick or give me anal to make up for it.
WIFE: ahh I really don't want to do either...
MAN: well I'll tell you what...I'll go out and get the dogs ready and when I come back you better make a decision...
*man comes back in the house after getting the dogs ready*
MAN: well have you decided yet?
WIFE: yeah, I'll be damned if youre getting anal so i guess i'll suck your dick.
*wife begins to suck her husbands dick and suddenly stops and says*
"ewww why does your dick taste like shit! "
MAN: well, the dogs didnt want to go hunting either.
Thats so disgusting....But funny at the sametime....
Ewwww....Hahaha
#15
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 01:41 PM
QUOTE(boovya @ Jul 25 2006, 01:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
you like it!!! you perv!!! now give me da bagels!
Your calling me a perv....look at ya.
J/K*Throws a bagel at your face.* Thats right, You like that picture.....
Have any more jokes?....I need to laugh!!
#16
Salisobres
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 07:40 PM
I like Quila's and Boov's.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales.
#17
Gasoline_Rainbows
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Posted 25 July 2006 - 07:46 PM
QUOTE(Salisobres @ Jul 25 2006, 07:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I like Quila's and Boov's.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales.
That was a good one.
Have anymore jokes....I ran out besides this one....
Kid : Mommy mommy can I take a bath with you?
Mom : Sure son just dont look under the water.
Kid : Mommy, Mommy, Whats that you have down their?
Mom : Why son, Thats my garage.
Kid : Daddy daddy, Can I take a shower with you?
Dad : Sure son just dont look down.
Kid : Daddy daddy, Whats that you have down their?
Dad : Why, Son thats my Limazine
Kid : Daddy daddy, Then whats that down their of mine?
Dad : Why son thats your tricycle.
Kid : Mommy Mommy, Daddy Daddy, Can I slepp with you?
Mom and Dad : Sure son just don't look under the covers.
Kid : MOMMY MOMMY, whats Daddy's limazine doing in your garage, there's no room for my tricycle.
